I've always had a hard time with church services. Ever since I was a kid, I just remember being bored out of my mind. Ok ok, most of that is probably my ADHD, but seriously, bored. Fact of the matter is, I really don't enjoy corporate worship. Oops.
I grew up in the conservative bible belt, and as a kid I certainly wasn't going to question corporate worship. My train of thought on the matter always ended up with there being something wrong in my heart. As far as I knew, corporate worship was THE way to worship God. I knew about the whole "work as unto the Lord" thing, and "do all things for God's glory". Worship though was when you sang "Shout to the Lord" at the top of your lungs, and if you felt super holy maybe throw in some dramatic hand motions.
All jokes aside, I don't often enjoy it, unless I am up there with the worship team. Helping lead worship is definitely a worshipful experience for me, but in the audience, my soul just sings "meh".
I had a weird period of about three years where I hardly attended Sunday church. I went to homegroup weekly, studied the bible, walked closely with others, but on Sundays I slept in (unless I was on the worship team, talk about irony), and if I went to church I felt plain awkward. Even now Sunday church for me is much much more about community with my brothers and sisters than about the service. During that period I wrestled hard with my churchlessness. I felt guilty about it, but I couldn't pin down why. All I knew was that you were supposed to go to sunday services, and you we're supposed to enjoy it, and if you didn't something in your heart was off. So for a long time I sat in guilt and shame that I now see was totally unnecessary.
(As an aside, there are many ways to "do church" and many forms that gathering together for the glory of God takes. I don't think that our current ideal is the end all be all for how the Christian life should be, but that's a story for another day.)
It wasn't until I heard my pastor preach on Christian hedonism that I really started to progress in the area of worship. The idea that I should pursue things that stirred up godly joy in my heart was incredibly enticing. There are so many things that I enjoy, that I find worshipful, that would be considered secular. Nonetheless they stir up my affection for Christ more acutely than a lot of "Christian" things. I love music with lots of bass, drawing people, playing video games, working out, etc. and these things are worshipful for me. They give me joy that goes beyond the thing, or the event, joy that rolls up to heaven and becomes praise to God.
Now worship has seeped into every corner of my life, and I am so much closer to God because of it. And don't even get me started on what Heaven will be like. I'm going to paint pretty pictures until I am sick of it, and then some. I can't wait for that day to come, when I get to see God face to face, and work and play all for His glory.
I grew up in the conservative bible belt, and as a kid I certainly wasn't going to question corporate worship. My train of thought on the matter always ended up with there being something wrong in my heart. As far as I knew, corporate worship was THE way to worship God. I knew about the whole "work as unto the Lord" thing, and "do all things for God's glory". Worship though was when you sang "Shout to the Lord" at the top of your lungs, and if you felt super holy maybe throw in some dramatic hand motions.
All jokes aside, I don't often enjoy it, unless I am up there with the worship team. Helping lead worship is definitely a worshipful experience for me, but in the audience, my soul just sings "meh".
Eternity in heaven singing praise and worship? My worst nightmare.
I had a weird period of about three years where I hardly attended Sunday church. I went to homegroup weekly, studied the bible, walked closely with others, but on Sundays I slept in (unless I was on the worship team, talk about irony), and if I went to church I felt plain awkward. Even now Sunday church for me is much much more about community with my brothers and sisters than about the service. During that period I wrestled hard with my churchlessness. I felt guilty about it, but I couldn't pin down why. All I knew was that you were supposed to go to sunday services, and you we're supposed to enjoy it, and if you didn't something in your heart was off. So for a long time I sat in guilt and shame that I now see was totally unnecessary.
(As an aside, there are many ways to "do church" and many forms that gathering together for the glory of God takes. I don't think that our current ideal is the end all be all for how the Christian life should be, but that's a story for another day.)
It wasn't until I heard my pastor preach on Christian hedonism that I really started to progress in the area of worship. The idea that I should pursue things that stirred up godly joy in my heart was incredibly enticing. There are so many things that I enjoy, that I find worshipful, that would be considered secular. Nonetheless they stir up my affection for Christ more acutely than a lot of "Christian" things. I love music with lots of bass, drawing people, playing video games, working out, etc. and these things are worshipful for me. They give me joy that goes beyond the thing, or the event, joy that rolls up to heaven and becomes praise to God.
Now worship has seeped into every corner of my life, and I am so much closer to God because of it. And don't even get me started on what Heaven will be like. I'm going to paint pretty pictures until I am sick of it, and then some. I can't wait for that day to come, when I get to see God face to face, and work and play all for His glory.
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