God won't give you more than you can handle....right?

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

-1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV

When I was in high school, I memorized 1 Corinthians 10:13 as part of a study that my youth group was doing. For years it's been my go to verse for when times get hard. When times get rough, when there's a habit I can't break, I would think back on this verse and think "I can do this!" I plastered it on a kitty poster in my mind and made it a mantra that I repeated ad nauseum.  This approach seemed perfectly reasonable to me, and it worked well. For years, I was confident in my abilities. I knew what to say, and just when to say it. I always had a solution ready for any situation I faced. I was on top of things. I was strong, independent, and stable. As my sister likes to remind me, my favorite saying my whole life has been "I know!"

That is I thought I knew, until I found myself one night, curled up on the couch crying and telling God "I can't handle anymore of this, something has to give!". I'd like to say that God acquiesced, and that my life got easier after that desperate plea. Unfortunately, the shit just piled up. Over the next few months, I found myself making that plea over and over, and it just seemed like God was ignoring me. Like he was saying "Nah, you can handle a little bit more". My life was falling apart before my eyes, and it became impossible to even pretend that I had everything under control.

I was pissed. For a while I was just flat out angry with God. I just kept thinking "He knows I can't handle this, what is He doing?!?" My whole life I had always been so confident. I always knew what to do in a situation, but now I was stumped, and all I could hear from God was "wait". I just wanted something to do, some action to take, but waiting? Let's just say, I'm not as patient as I had convinced myself I was. 

I went around like this for a while; angry, confused, and impatient. Then one day it was like God just said "Hey, let me handle this. You go rest, I'll take care of it." I was floored. It was like a HUGE burden was taken off my back. I didn't have to carry this! (As if I had any power in the situation in the first place) It was at this point that I began to really understand 1 Corinthians 10:13. Me, I'm weak. Left to myself I'm dead to my sins, and completely incapable of handling anything, BUT I have the Spirit of God through Christ, and with His power I am strong.

So I don't believe that "God won't give you more than you can handle" anymore. Because the reality is I can't handle anything, but with Christ, I can endure all.